Hate myself

Things I've eaten in the four hours I've been home from work today:

• stir-fried green beans and rice
• a pickled eggplant
• a dill pickle
• chips and salsa
• a red apple
  
• bbq chips
• a peanut butter sandwich
  

So, either I'm pregnant or a new parasite has decided to put down roots in my body. Either way, I think I'm going to draw a smiley face on my belly and ask people to 'say hello to my little friend' when they walk by.

Employment: A Visual Representation

So, work has been pretty slow lately. Slow in the kind of way where there IS actual work to be done...I just don't feel like doing it. This wasn't always the case though. I was a busy little bee when I first came to this office - always one step ahead, finishing work before people had a chance to walk out of my office. I quickly realized that the faster I finished my work, the more people would assign to me - so I've devised a little strategy called NOT DOING ANYTHING to get me through my days. And rather than comb through these reports on Yemen, I'll upload these fancy little graphs Little One made for me last night.

Show's I've been known to watch at this job:

• Modern Family
• Community
• Glee
  
• Scrubs
• American Idol

Productivity level since I started this job:



How I spend my days at this job:



Wait, what? A new episode of How I Met Your Mother's out? Peace out Girl Scouts.

*Note: If you are my actual employer, please don't fire me.