September 28, 2008

Out of Control

Traffic in this city is getting ridiculously out of control. You think you finally get the hang of simultaneously honking at the idiot on the motorcycle with a pot rather than a helmet on his head, avoiding crushing the donkey next to you's hoofs, restraining from flipping the microbus driver the bird, and texting for directions when you're knocked right back to the start.

As I drove to work this morning, my mother (who works down the street from me) and I were complaining about how bad the traffic was. I noted that it's particularly bad on Sundays, but there must have been something wrong today. When we came to a complete stop at the bottom of a bridge and noticed drivers on the other side of the street cranking their heads in unimaginable positions, we suspected there had been an accident. Twenty minutes later, we saw the culprit - a broken down, public bus.

Under any other circumstances, this would have been a normal occurrence and yes, traffic would have moved slowly, but it would have moved. What made today oh so special was the fact that six - SIX - policemen were standing next to the bus apparently "directing traffic." We're on a's two isn't rocket science. The presence of these policemen made matters so much worse, as people expected to see guts poured out on the street, or at least attribute the delay to a checkpoint.

Things didn't end there though. Just as traffic started to clear up and we made our way past the rickety bus, this came RACING, racing I tell you!, at us. Down our side of the street, in my lane, full speed ahead. I have no words for this (at the time, I had some expletives, but that's neither here nor there). I really will never understand this country.

September 25, 2008

Dangerously Close to a 'Titanic' Reference

This morning, the awful goons at Nile FM posed this question to the capital - "What's your favorite cheesy song?" I wish I had known this before Eiffel 65's 'Blue (Da Ba Dee)' came on, because I wouldn't have yanked the power cord out of the socket so hard.

The drive to work picked up when all sorts of people with nothing better to do than text the radio started sending in song titles. There were some crazy throwbacks, best of all being Inner Circle's 'Sweat (A La La La La Long)'.

I had the music cranked up louder than ever before and threw all care to the wind (air condition?) when bopping along to this masterpiece of lyricism and musicality. To anyone who saw this 3 minutes and 46 second display, my apologies. I immediately switched to a CD after the song ended so as not to ruin my morning with other musical filth that was sure to filter through. You KNOW they were going to throw in some Celine Dion and hearts going on in there somewhere.

Hot Dawg Update

There were hot dogs. And burgers if my eyes didn't deceive me. I will engage in serious hot dog eating at Friday's game. And it will be delicious.

September 19, 2008

Crisis Averted!

I thought I was going to a softball game today. I got way too excited about the thought of eating hot dogs at the "stadium" until I was informed that the game was at 4. A whole two hours before iftar. CRISIS! What's the point of going to watch my friend's husband run around trying to catch a ball if I can't feed my belly? I was secretly (but not so secretly) hoping someone would take a hit in the gut to make up for it.

I've just been informed, though, that the game's been rescheduled to Monday at 7. After iftar! Wohoo! Maybe there will be pickles too. O Monday...when will you come?

In other news, I was voted MVP of my high school softball team. Recognize.

September 15, 2008

Labor Pains

Mom: Ahh...what a trip.
Me: What trip would that be in reference to, Mom?
Mom: Life.

This exchange happened a few weeks ago on a relatively normal evening in with my family. Clearly my mother's social, personal and professional life is leaps ahead of mine. You'd think conversations like this were few and far between in my household - what with Egyptian born and raised parents (and their disappointing-uber Western children) - but unfortunately (fortunately?), such is not the case. I have now made it my duty to share these, and other things on my mind grapes, with those who happen to be so brave as to continue reading.

This blog has been a long time coming. Well, long as in a couple weeks. Ideas have been prancing around in my mind like little sugar plum fairies (mostly at 2 am when I'm laying awake in bed unable to sleep on account of the minute levels of caffeine in the green tea I had six hours earlier), and they're finally seeing the light. Whether these ideas will be of any interest to anyone on the Interwebs is questionable, but I don't know if I'm ready to face the harsh reality of that just yet. Humor me (but don't hold your breath) and pretend you're interested. It may get better.

N.B. My sister has been objecting to this post, complaining that she isn't a "disappointment." You'd think in her wise, almost-18 years, she would have figured out that I tend to exaggerate. A lot. Sorry sissy-poo.