Hate myself

Things I've eaten in the four hours I've been home from work today:

• stir-fried green beans and rice
• a pickled eggplant
• a dill pickle
• chips and salsa
• a red apple
  
• bbq chips
• a peanut butter sandwich
  

So, either I'm pregnant or a new parasite has decided to put down roots in my body. Either way, I think I'm going to draw a smiley face on my belly and ask people to 'say hello to my little friend' when they walk by.