Internet, I hate the things attached to ankles. Surely you've heard of this hatred (dare I say phobia?) before. If you know me in person, you've definitely witnessed my goosebumps, sick faces, and shudders at the mere mention of them. You've probably also tormented me with threats and waving appendages. Ahh, good times.
At dinner at Spaz's house the other night, talk of the subject came up and like a bolt of white lightening, someone opened a drawer and pulled this out:
A CANDY SEVERED FOOD, INTERNET. Now, if you're like me, you were thinking any number and quite possibly all of the following:
1. Why, God? Why?
2. With friends like this, who needs enemies?
3. O no, I'm going to be sick.
4. Hmm, I wonder what that tastes like.
In between the chest pain, heavy breathing and cold sweat, I managed to regain my composure and actually hold the severed foot. After hearing "EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT!" chants (if you leave a 'that's what he said' note in the comments, I'll love you forever), most notably by Forsoothsayer, I tried the damn thing. Contrary to my personal belief, the severed foot was gooier than expected and I wasn't able to pull it apart - thus negating its disgustingness and allowing for an easier ingestion of said candy. I managed to barely chew the whole thing and guess what?! It was gross!
Moral of the story: If it looks like a severed foot and acts like a severed foot, it'll taste like a severed foot. Children, beware.