Just your average Thursday

My dad comes to Cairo every few weeks, and when he does, it's a collective effort to find fun things to keep him entertained. You can imagine our surprise when he suggested a Thursday night activity. Behold...

Dad: Are you guys bored? Want to do something?

Me and Little One: Uhh, sure. What do you have in mind?

Dad: I have about 1,000 slides I need to edit on PowerPoint. I've done some, and they took about two weeks to finish, so...

Me and Little One: *eyes rolled and death

Awkward Family Conversation

Me: I spent six hours watching the Kardashians last night.

Aunt: Why? What do you like about them?

Me: It was more of a sociological study of how people who have done nothing in their life can get so rich and famous.

Aunt: Why are they even famous?

Me: One of them had a sex tape, and then...

Aunt: Do you know how many people have sex tapes?!

Me: DO YOU?!

Things that make me want to pick up and leave. Immediately.

1. My sister eating the last piece of chocolate from Lebanon I had dibs on.
2. My mom giving my sister permission to eat the last piece of chocolate from Lebanon I had dibs on.
3. This Vodafone customer service representative who wants to a) know absolutely nothing about her job and b) try to school me on things she knows nothing about.
4. My coworkers trying to tell me that vegetarianism is the work of the Devil.
5. My cat throwing up on every surface she puts her dainty little paws on.

But really, it's the chocolate that I'm maddest about. Watch your back, Little One. I'm your worst nightmare is who I is.

Also, if you'd like to send me snacks, e-mail me at thingsonmymindgrapes at gmail dot com for my mailing address.