You wish you had these

So, I might NOT HAVE TOTALLY STOLEN THIS IDEA AT ALL from some other blogger, but her's are totally weird and make you want to look off to the side and casually close the lid of your laptop so people can't see what you're reading. I give you...texts saved on my BlackBerry:

• Today in class, the professor asked us how we would identify ourselves in one word. Some said egyptian. Others said arab. Some said muslim. Others said coptic. Ezbeligy said, "i am the pharoahs."

• Hey little goose! Just a little text to remind u that i think about u with or without appendix.

• Brother. Locked, loaded. Ready to poke, flare and stomp. Let's smite ugly goons and move constantly upward. I'll keep sending you secret love messages on facebook.

• I'm sorry, i was just blinded by the food, you know you're the one.

• Moose is gay.

• Never said i liked her. Just that i don't hate her as much as my brain thought i did. Doesn't excuse personal space violations.

• Think accounting guy might secretly be a muppet.

• Shove it.

• Worst. Day. Ever.

• Lol re [professor] trying to convince us that the cultural revolution in china was good for the country. Someone needs to send this woman some wikipedia links.

• You should shoot me out of pity like at the end of of mice and men.

• The results of a genetics experiment gone awry?

• Hey Boo!!! Holla at ya boy - This text is the most productive thing i've done at work today!

• You win that one a thousand times.

• I.T. probs or dead in ditch?

• Someone in my computer science class just asked the TA if we would all get A's if the professor died.

• One of my co-workers in fayoum started a diet and will begin exercising too. She joined a gym and will start working out tonight. What will she do u ask? Well, sauna of course.

• I can orchestrate a simultaneous make out session. Just to drive it home.

• Hate you!

• Your toes are like baby shrimp! Birds!